Independence and maturity are crucial habits that are necessary to succeed in high school and beyond. There is seldom a situation in a professional setting when independence or maturity does not apply. Often times, independence can help you develop maturity and vice versa. Both traits help to distinguish children from adults. In this chapter we will explore what independence means and what maturity means. Additionally, we will look at how they can be applied to real life situations and why they are so important.
Independence
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“Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man's life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self.”
“Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man's life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self.”
- B.R.Ambedkar
_________________________________________________________________Merriam-Webster defines independence as, “freedom from outside control or support : the state of being independent”. Essentially independence is any situation when you act by yourself without the help of another person. When you are not depending on someone you are acting independently. Lets look at an example.
Josh and Adam are both equally intelligent and have each gotten into their first choice colleges. Even though they are identical on paper, their personalities are far different. Josh ends up dropping out of college and moving back in with his parents after only one year while Adam completes his four years and enters the workforce. Adam ends up being extremely successful throughout the rest of his life, while Josh tends to struggle due to the fact that he was never able to complete college and enter the workforce. Now lets look at why two people seemingly identical could have such drastic differences in their success rates.
Josh came from a family of five. He lived with his older brother, older sister, and parents. At a young age, his siblings would constantly speak for him and do things for him. Whenever he was placed in a situation where he might have to act independently, someone was always there to help him. This made Josh develop a very dependent type of personality. He feared having to do things by himself. He constantly relied on his parents to do things for him. This dependence became especially hard for him in high school and college when he was forced to act by himself. Eventually he couldn’t handle it.
Adam came from a family of three. He was an only child. Unlike Josh, Adam rarely had anyone to speak for him. Adam developed a rather independent personality. He became really good at making smart decisions for himself and because of this he ended up thriving in high school and college.
Now take a second to think about who seems more similar to you, Adam or Josh? If you find that you are Josh, don’t freak out. It’s not too late to change. Personally, I was more like Josh for a good portion of my childhood. I had an older brother who would constantly speak for me, and I developed more of a quiet personality. I still am more on the reserved side, however I have learned to adapt to Adam’s habits that helped him succeed. As I entered high school, I was forced to make decisions for myself. Now that I am going into college, I can’t wait to live by myself and become completely independent from my parents. What I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to necessarily be outgoing and loud to be independent. It is definitely okay to be more on the reserved side but it is crucial that you learn to act by yourself. Next time you are about to ask your parents or your peers to help you with something, stop for a second and ask yourself if you can do it independently. Go out and find a job by yourself. Research what colleges you want to go to and apply for them by yourself. Things like this will have you acting independently and before long you won’t even think about it. You’ll feel great when you accomplish something major by yourself.
Josh came from a family of five. He lived with his older brother, older sister, and parents. At a young age, his siblings would constantly speak for him and do things for him. Whenever he was placed in a situation where he might have to act independently, someone was always there to help him. This made Josh develop a very dependent type of personality. He feared having to do things by himself. He constantly relied on his parents to do things for him. This dependence became especially hard for him in high school and college when he was forced to act by himself. Eventually he couldn’t handle it.
Adam came from a family of three. He was an only child. Unlike Josh, Adam rarely had anyone to speak for him. Adam developed a rather independent personality. He became really good at making smart decisions for himself and because of this he ended up thriving in high school and college.
Now take a second to think about who seems more similar to you, Adam or Josh? If you find that you are Josh, don’t freak out. It’s not too late to change. Personally, I was more like Josh for a good portion of my childhood. I had an older brother who would constantly speak for me, and I developed more of a quiet personality. I still am more on the reserved side, however I have learned to adapt to Adam’s habits that helped him succeed. As I entered high school, I was forced to make decisions for myself. Now that I am going into college, I can’t wait to live by myself and become completely independent from my parents. What I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to necessarily be outgoing and loud to be independent. It is definitely okay to be more on the reserved side but it is crucial that you learn to act by yourself. Next time you are about to ask your parents or your peers to help you with something, stop for a second and ask yourself if you can do it independently. Go out and find a job by yourself. Research what colleges you want to go to and apply for them by yourself. Things like this will have you acting independently and before long you won’t even think about it. You’ll feel great when you accomplish something major by yourself.
Maturity
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“Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations.”
-Samuel Ullman
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Merriam-Webster defines maturity as, “the quality or state of being mature; especially : full development”. This is a very literal definition, and by reading it you still probably don’t have a very good idea of what maturity actually is. So, what really is maturity and why is it important?
Maturity is essentially the ability to respond to one’s environment in an appropriate and suitable manner. It is a skill that must be developed. One of the main aspects to maturity is knowing when to act according to the circumstances. Often times you cannot be independent from guidance or supervision without being mature. Maturity is the key to independence and many of the other skills mentioned throughout this book. This being said, it is something that teenagers have a hard time developing.
Once you enter the workforce, maturity is a must have skill. You simply will not succeed without it. Nobody wants to work with someone who is constantly talking out of turn, disrespecting others, not paying attention, and laughing at every word you say. Even though this may sound comical, look around the classroom next time you are in school and I’ll bet you see at least one of the things previously mentioned happening.
Now it is important to understand that I’m not trying to say you should always act serious and you should never have fun. That is not what maturity is, and this is a large misconception about maturity. As I mentioned earlier, maturity is knowing how to act in various environments. Essentially, you should be able to recognize that the classroom is a serious setting where you may want to be respectful and pay attention. Lunch, however, is intended in part to be a break from this. It is a time where you can joke around with friends and have fun. This merely one example of a change in environments. Take a few minutes to think about some other environments you can be placed in and how these environments require you to act.
Think back to the last time you could have responded better to a situation you were put in. It probably wasn’t long ago. In fact, it very well could have been today. One of the first steps to fixing immaturity is self realization. You must be able to recognize and understand that you often act immature in order to begin fixing it. If you have just come to the realization that you are extremely immature, don’t freak out. You’ve already accomplished the hardest step of self realization. Now all you have to do is stop yourself everytime you think you are about to act immature. Over time you will learn when and where to act a certain way and believe me, your peers will thank you.
Written by Caleb Konrad
Maturity is essentially the ability to respond to one’s environment in an appropriate and suitable manner. It is a skill that must be developed. One of the main aspects to maturity is knowing when to act according to the circumstances. Often times you cannot be independent from guidance or supervision without being mature. Maturity is the key to independence and many of the other skills mentioned throughout this book. This being said, it is something that teenagers have a hard time developing.
Once you enter the workforce, maturity is a must have skill. You simply will not succeed without it. Nobody wants to work with someone who is constantly talking out of turn, disrespecting others, not paying attention, and laughing at every word you say. Even though this may sound comical, look around the classroom next time you are in school and I’ll bet you see at least one of the things previously mentioned happening.
Now it is important to understand that I’m not trying to say you should always act serious and you should never have fun. That is not what maturity is, and this is a large misconception about maturity. As I mentioned earlier, maturity is knowing how to act in various environments. Essentially, you should be able to recognize that the classroom is a serious setting where you may want to be respectful and pay attention. Lunch, however, is intended in part to be a break from this. It is a time where you can joke around with friends and have fun. This merely one example of a change in environments. Take a few minutes to think about some other environments you can be placed in and how these environments require you to act.
Think back to the last time you could have responded better to a situation you were put in. It probably wasn’t long ago. In fact, it very well could have been today. One of the first steps to fixing immaturity is self realization. You must be able to recognize and understand that you often act immature in order to begin fixing it. If you have just come to the realization that you are extremely immature, don’t freak out. You’ve already accomplished the hardest step of self realization. Now all you have to do is stop yourself everytime you think you are about to act immature. Over time you will learn when and where to act a certain way and believe me, your peers will thank you.
Written by Caleb Konrad